Why self-optimisation isn't at all about optimising the self
The biggest mistake is that we perceive the body as the self that needs to be transformed.
It's a misunderstanding to think that physical self-optimisation has anything to do with optimising yourself. When speaking of self-optimisation, what we mostly mean is optimising our outer shell. Therefore optimising the body, in which we live, which inhabits our soul.
Our appearance is the embodiment of our soul, and that explains how the body and the soul are interconnected. The body mirrors the soul. And then there is the Ego. And what is it that the Ego does? It overlays this mirror with its own illusions.
As the Ego is searching for an identity in almost everything, it is also looking for itself in its physical home, the body. The body is linked to the Egos understanding of “l". It projects one part of self on it. So when we speak about self-optimisation and mean optimising our body, then we speak through the lenses of our Ego, as we perceive the body as the self that needs to be transformed.
Rather than that, if there is something that has to be optimised, then it's the relationship with our Ego. Because our true, authentic self doesn't need any kind of optimisation. Our true self is nothing but pure awareness. And this awareness is perfect already. It's wholesome, spiritual and holy. It's our essence. THIS is us.
But awareness is not alone in the body. We have a nasty little roommate, and I think it's clear that I'm speaking of the Ego here. So our body inhabits both: the silent, perceiving awareness - which is us. And the toxic, needy and loud Ego.
The problem is: The Ego isn't so happy about this shared-living-situation. It wants to be alone in the body. It wants to have our full and unshared attention. So it does everything to make you believe that this is you. And as soon as you identify with it, you mistake its will and needs as yours. And suddenly you are the one that embodies - because you start to embody the Ego.
Identification with Ego creates a lot of suffering. The Ego is in a constant state of lack, takes everything personal and directs all its energy towards achieving something external. Unease, frustration and even illness are the results.
While all of this happens, the awareness is present all the time. It exists in silence, waiting patiently for you to awaken to it. And every single time you become present of the Ego's voice in your head, you experience a moment of disconnection from Ego and connection with your essence. Because you can never be identified with both of them at the same time.
It's a never ending process to break the cycle of Ego-Identification. It's nothing you accomplish once and then it's done forever. You have to do it over and over again, every single day - even every single minute. But every time you wake up from Ego to consciousness is a big, big win. It's a moment when your path gets clear, when you feel what's the right decision to make. It's like getting sober for a second in the middle of a thrill.
And this second is worth so, so much. Because in this precious moment, YOU start to shine through, and the Ego pauses for a second. Try to enter this state as often as you can. It needs some practice, and it needs patience. But one day you'll start craving being sober from the Ego and you'll try to return to this point as often as you can.